Goodbyes

I've never liked goodbyes. I mean, who does? They're so awkward and sad. I often do my best to avoid them because for me they're mostly awkward (I'm not a crier and I'm not even really that emotional, so I never know what to do in those situations). The only time I ever cried when saying goodbye was when I left California to come to Australia and the ONLY reason I cried was because my, at the time, three year old nephew started bawling as he said goodbye to me.

That completely broke my heart to know that he could comprehend that he wouldn't be seeing me everyday and that it made him so sad! But, I digress...

Goodbyes- they are never easy and they never will be. They mean letting go, they mean losing a part of my life. They mean that something or everything is changing and I have no control over it...

I've been saying quite a few goodbyes the last few days and most have been awkward because, to be honest, those relationships never meant too much anyways. They were temporary and based on common interests and at times, felt forced, so I'm not too sad to lose them. They were just for a season.

But all of these goodbyes, the meaningful and the meaningless, remind me that though this season is up and I'm about to move into another. Which makes me so excited and it makes the goodbyes worth it. 

It's been real, Sydney. I love you. ✌

"There are far, far greater things ahead than any we leave behind." -C.S. Lewis

For this next season I'm praying for deeper relationships, for a longer season to develop those relationships and for a chance to "bloom where planted."

P.S. this whole blogging this is new to me. So, if you're reading bare with me as for now it'll be another outlet for me for writing and sometimes read like a journal.

Nine Days

Another countdown.

I've been living in those lately.

Probably because there's so much good stuff that's about to happen in my life. And while that's great and I should be excited about everything that's coming up, I probably shouldn't have started my countdown 75 days ago...

I should have been H E R E. In Australia. At Hillsong (the college & the church). I should have been with the people God has placed in my life for this time. 

I remember when I was counting down the days this time last year to when I would be in this very place. 

Things didn't go the way I thought they should and I was completely fine with that last semester because I knew this is where I was supposed to be at this time in my life so, I had peace. When I first arrived in Australia I had no idea how long my journey here would be. I wanted it to be longer than a year but God had other plans which is a-whole-nother story. But because I didn't know how long I had I went with the flow and thanked God for every opportunity. 

And then second semester hit and because I knew I was going home in a matter of months I mentally checked out. I tried to fight it but I couldn't. And I started to become negative about being here and although I didn't come with very many expectations it turned out I was still disappointed...

Now, I have nine days to redeem the time I have left here. I want to make them count. And they will. 

And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there...(1 Corinthians 7:17 MSG)